


Through The Door

by AndyBoy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, my boys....................., tbh this is my favorite fanfic I've ever written???????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 01:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10980627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndyBoy/pseuds/AndyBoy
Summary: Rich has a panic attack in the bathroom. Thankfully, his boyfriend is there to help.





	Through The Door

**Author's Note:**

> Request from tumblr!  
> :0 Anon wanted a RichJake fanfic with with “Jake calming rich from some kind of panic/breakdown because hes scared how people will feel about him being so different from when he was controlled by the SQUIP”  
> Sorry its kinda Angsty hahahahaahh

“You ready? We’re gonna be late for school.”  
“You go on ahead, I’ll be out in a sec.”   
Jake, who had been waiting patiently by the door, frowned in concern. “What’s wrong, Rich?”  
“Nothing.” Rich’s voice had jumped about an octave higher than usual. “You go on to school, I just need to brush my hair.”  
Jake, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, backed away from the door. “Rich, what’s up?”  
“Nothing!” Rich, voice still unnaturally high, snapped. “I’m fine!”  
Jake leaned against the bathroom door and pressed his ear to it. Slow, shuddering breaths met his ear. Jake lept away from the door. Was Rich crying? He took a deep, slow breath to steady himself, and pressed his ear against the door once again. “Rich?” he asked carefully, trying to keep his voice low and soothing. “What’s going on, babe?”  
“Nothing.” Rich was audibly gulping for air. Jake’s stomach twisted into a knot.  
“Rich, please tell me what’s going on. I’m here for you.”  
“Jake, I promise, I’m fine.” From the thump, Jake assumed that Rich had slammed his fist on the wall.   
“You’re not fine, and I’m worried about you!” Jake grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it. His breath caught in his throat. “Did you lock the door?”  
“No.” Rich’s voice was saturated with tears.   
“Yes you did.” Jake frowned at the barrier between himself and his boyfriend.  
“No, I didn’t. I’m leaning against the door.”  
Jake slid to the ground and leaned against the door. He let himself imagine that he was on the other side, wiping away Rich’s tears. Yet, until Rich was strong enough to move, it seemed Jake could do nothing but speak to him.  
“Jake, you have to go to school.” Rich’s voice was thick with emotion and something else that Jake would never quite be able to describe.   
“I’m not going to school without you, and I’m not letting you go to school in the state you’re in. So I guess we’re both playing hookey today.”   
Rich let out a shakey laugh. “I can’t let you skip school on my account.”  
“It’s my choice, not yours. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”  
“It’s just…”  
“Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”  
“What if they all hate me?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“The other kids. At school. Because of my…”  
“Your little friend.”  
“Yeah. What if they can’t even stand to look at me?”  
Jake took a deep breath and leaned even further into the door. “Babe, I know you’re scared. But if it were me, I’d never look away. You’re so amazing to me. Every time I catch sight of you out of the corner of my eye, my breath flies out of my body and my mouth grows dry. I’m sorry I’m getting so sappy on you, dude. But I really do care about you.”  
Rich sniffed. “You gotta get to school, Jake—”  
“Nope. We already both decided that we’re skipping today.”  
“Jake—”  
“Shh. Rich, just scooch over a little and let me in. Just back away from the door so I can hold you.”  
Jake heard some muffled whimpers and a thud as, he assumed, Rich moved away from the door. He slowly got to his feet and placed a hand on the door knob. He turned it a little and the door swung open. The sight that met Jake was enough to bring tears to his eyes.   
Rich was curled up on the floor, his shirt on backwards and his hair dissheveled. His socks were pulled up as far as they’d go, and his shoes were on the wrong feet. An overwhelming smell of sharpie, hair gel, cleaning products, and puke swelled to meet Jake’s nostrils. He almost gagged, but didn’t. Rich’s hair seemed to be coated in the entire bottle of hair gel, as the bottle Jake had bought just yesterday was lying empty on the floor next to Rich. On Rich’s left arm, in black sharpie, the word “terrible” was scribbled by someone who’d obviously been shaking while writing it. The toilet had something yellow and unsightly floating in the bowl. The cupboard under the sink was open and the cleaing products inside had been spilled all over the floor.  
Jake said nothing, but gathered the small, trembling boy up in his arms. He held him close to his chest, not knowing what else to do. He ran his fingers through Rich’s hair, despite how clumped and stiff it had become. He hummed gently into Rich’s ear, making up soothing melodies on the spot. Jake couldd never tell anyone how long he spent just gently rocking his boyfriend back and forth, not saying a word, just holding him like he’d never let him go.  
When Rich’s breathing steadied and it seemed like he’d let out all of the tears he was capable of letting out, Jake gently released the smaller boy. Rich instantly clung even tighter and forced out through dry sobs, “Don’t let go, Jake.”  
“I was going to clean up a little and run you a bath,” Jake said gently.   
“Not yet.”  
“Okay.” So the two remained intertwined for a while more.   
Jake eventually began to loosen his grip on Rich for a second time. “You smell like puke, dude. Lemme run you a bath.”  
Rich hiccuped. “Okay,” he said, breathing as steadily as he could manage.  
Jake stood and gently turned the taps of the bathtub. He opened the mirror above the sink and pulled out a bottle of bubble bath. He stuck the plug in the drain of the bathtub. He poured some bubble bath in. He put the bottle of bubble bath down on the sink. He flushed the toilet. He picked up the empty bottles of cleaning supplies and hair gel and threw them out. He dipped his hand into the bath water to make sure the temperature was okay. He left the room and came back with a roll of paper towels and a mop. He leant them against the doorframe and tested the water again. He took Rich’s arm and helped him to his feet. He took off Rich’s shirt and dropped it onto the soaked floor. He knelt on the floor and removed Rich’s socks and shoes. He pulled Rich’s belt out from the loops and unzipped his jeans. He slid them down around his ankles, and checked the temperature of the water again. He turned the cold water tap a bit and grabbed the bubble bath. He poured a little more into the tub. He slipped Rich’s boxer shorts off and helped him step into the tub.   
“Thanks.”  
“It’s no problem, Sweetie.”  
“You’re a big dork,” Rich muttered, sinking further into the bubble bath.  
“Yeah, I know.” Jake grabbed the mop and paper towels and began to scrub the cleaning products off of the floor.  
“I’m sorry I made such a mess in your bathroom.”  
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I just want to look after you.”  
“I just got so worked up thinking about what they’d say to me or think of me. I’m just...so different from the way I was when I had the SQUIP.”  
Jake leant the mop against the wall and kneeled next to the bathtub. “And I like you better without it.” He kissed his boyfriend on the forehead and continued to clean.  
“But nobody else does.”  
“If that were true, Rich, it wouldn’t matter. Because what other people think about you is nothing. I know you’re incredible, and that’s all I need. I don’t know what you need, but I’m trying my best to be everything that you need and more. Here are some pajamas, babe. I’m putting them on the radiator so they’ll be warm when you get out. I’m gonna go pop some popcorn and set up a movie, just holler if you need anything.” Jake picked up the mop and paper towels and began to leave the bathroom.  
“Hey, Jake?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thanks.”  
“I love you, Rich. You know that.”  
“Still. Thanks.”  
“It’s no problem at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck Dude This Was Good To Write Although I Do Wish My Boys Could Just Be Safe And Happy


End file.
